imagine all your online friends living near you
"KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKER WHY DIDN’T YOU REBLOG MY POST"
i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole
my mom texted me a facebook screenshot of this today and said ‘sounds like something you would say LOL’ like u have no idea mom
i was petting my cat and he bit me pretty hard and i gave him the lightest of thwaps to the head so he swatted at me and ran away and now hes sulking
My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets
Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all
You smooth motherfucker
society has literally conditioned us to hold our grades as a higher priority than our mental and physical wellbeing and if you dont think thats fucked up i dont know what is
tumblr is like egypt nobody understands us and we worship cats
And our language is images.
Ok can we talk about how masterful that last pun was
How do I just restart my life?
I feel like an idiot sometimes most of the time